Relationships

Attention Teens: Are you sabotaging your relationships?

Hello all you beautiful souls, I have something a little new to bring you today. I have been thought about this a lot over the last couple years as I watched my oldest son go through many girlfriends in his teens to my second son who was loyal to one.

Now my sons are both very sweet and true gentlemen which we have raised them to be. However, like any teenage boy they can be an ass at times, but they both have such big hearts, and a lot of love to give.

I have watched many girls come through here over the years especially with my oldest son. I have watched both of these boys fall in love and get their hearts broken. I can tell you how hard it is to watch as a parent. I have also watched the things that my sons have done that they shouldn’t have, and I have seen some of these girls do outrageous things, only to push them farther away.

Now don’t get me wrong these girls have the best intentions at heart, but they either come on too strong or go a little crazy.  Either way at the end of it someone ends up with a broken heart and no one wants that.

A little history on my teenage sons. My oldest son who is all grown up now and a parent himself has had a lot of girlfriends. Especially when he was young. It seemed like as soon as I learned one of their names he was onto someone else. This went on until he met a girl and fell head over heels in love with her.

My second son who is still a teenager has never really had a lot of girlfriends. He has had been rejected and he has also had his heart broken. He is not one to play the fields and he is currently dating the same girl for a year now.

Being a teenager is one of hardest times in our lives and you are learning and experiencing so much so fast. It’s only natural to make mistakes and come off a little nutty. I have created a list to help teenagers know what not to do in a relationship. Hey any help they can get right?

For you teenagers out there who are thinking ” Oh my God what’s this lame old lady know about being a teenager?”  

Well honey I was a teenager once too and I did some really stupid things. I had my heart broken and I broke some hearts too, so take my advice and experience and put it to good use. 

“Oh, and it’s not nice to call a grown up old, LOL “

Ten Ways you could be sabotaging your relationships!

Number 1

Don’t be clingy… People hate it when their partner gets to clingy too fast. Remember that they do like you and they like to spend time with you but they also wants to hang with their friends too. It’s nothing personal…

Number 2

Don’t accuse them of cheating on you. If you have no proof and you’re listening to rumors then you need to remember that those are just rumors. Nothing drives someone away more than knowing they are not trusted. Also accusing someone will only make them do it, so back off.

Number 3

Calling and Texting them non stop is extremely annoying. You don’t want your partner to be annoyed with you. You want them to see your name on their phone and be excited to hear from you. If they see’s that and thinks “Uhh not again” you are doing it too much. 

Number 4

Having your friends ask your partner questions for you like ” Are you mad, or Are you in love?” will just drive them crazy. If you want to know that stuff then you should ask them yourself. They will respect you more and will feel more comfortable telling you how they feels verses one of your friends. 

Number 5 

Assuming things are more serious than they are is only going to get you hurt and drive them away. If you have been dating for a week or two don’t assume your going to be together forever. You’re young you don’t need to be thinking about forever right now. Enjoy life and have fun.

Number 6

Putting down their family or friends is a sure fire way to make them say goodbye. Remember that family will be there forever and friends have been there long before you were around, and will be long after you as well. 

Number 7 

Getting upset when you don’t hear from them constantly. Your partner should not be thinking about you all the time, and they won’t be talking about you 24 hours a day. If they do then you have a stalker situation on your hands. This is not a good thing. This also means that you should not be thinking about them 24 hours a day either. We all love how we feel when we are in love, and we want more of it, like a drug. However, if you don’t hear from them all the time it’s probably because they are busy doing other things. Stalking their Facebook/Instagram page to see when they are on, and what they are doing is not good. This also goes for getting upset when they haven’t messaged you. It will also drive them crazy if they finds out. Don’t devote your entire life to them. If they are busy then you get busy too. Have fun with your friends or call up a cousin you haven’t talked to in a while. Stay busy…

Number 8 

Flirting with other people and trying to make your partner jealous is only going to piss them off.  It will make you look like a whore, and at the end of it they will leave you for someone who only has eyes for them.

Number 9

Thinking you need to be intimate or have sex to get love is STUPID. I am sorry but yes STUPID..I love sex just as much as the next person but I can tell you it won’t make a person love you or want to stay with you. Also later when you finally find the right person you will feel bad that you don’t get to give it to just them. This can also make you slutty and no one wants that. 

Number 10

Bugging them… If you are messaging them and telling them you are sorry for bugging them then you need to sit back and think about why you think you are bugging them. How many messages are you sending a day? How many calls or FB messages? If you feel like you’re bugging them, well you probably are. They will tell you that you aren’t because they are not a douche but you know better than that. If you think they will be bugged then back off and don’t send that message. It’s probably not urgent. Instead write down all the things you want to tell them, and then tell them later when they message you.  

Being a teenager is not easy and one of the hardest times you will have in your life, so try and make the best of it. No relationship is worth hurting yourself over. Also if you are being hurt in a relationship then you need to tell someone. Even if you scared. Hell send me a message and I will find the right person to contact for you. Love should never hurt and you are worth so much more then that. 

Lots of love

Kaylee ShadowsF

Relationships

Top Ten Ways to have FUN on Valentine’s Day when you’re SINGLE!!!!

Hello Darlings, I have been thinking a lot about Valentine’s Day and how much people can get worked up about it especially when they are single. Take my best friend Kristina for example, I was talking to her the other day and I noticed how she said it was so hard to find anything in the month of February that isn’t Valentine’s day related. She is single and fabulous and has a son and knows that she doesn’t need a man to keep her happy. However during this time of the year it can make her feel like there is something wrong with her because she isn’t in a relationship. I say BULLSHIT!!!! She should never feel this way and neither should anyone else who is single. 

This got me to thinking and I figure why can’t Valentine’s Day be fun for everyone and you know what? It can!!!!

Here are ten top things to do on Valentine’s Day when your single because let’s face it you should be happy every day of the year.

Number 1

Valentine’s Day can be fun for everyone and there are tons of really cute and pretty things that come out during the month of February like hearts and kittens and what not. If you are a single parent and dreading this holiday then here is what you should do. Have the best date of your life. Take your little one out for a night on the town. Just think of how perfect this is. You will never love someone more than you love your little one. You already know what they like to do and they always know how to make you smile. Embrace that, and get dressed up and make a dinner reservation and go have a great night with the one who means more to you then anything. If you have more than one child then you can use this to take them all out or maybe pick one who has a little something special coming. You can be the judge of that. Have fun!!!

Number 2

This is also the perfect day to have a night out with yourself. Enjoy a great movie and just think you don’t have to share your popcorn. Awesome!!!

Number 3

Treat yourself to a massage and let yourself go!!! Bye Bye stress!!!

Number 4

If you really want to enjoy Valentine’s Day then plan ahead and take a spa weekend for just yourself and enjoy being pampered all weekend long.

Number 5

Another great way to enjoy the day is find a friend who is also single and have a night out on the town. You can even find some great discounts that places have for couples. Hey they don’t say what kind of couple you have to be! 😉

Number 6

Instead of thinking about how your alone this holiday maybe think about a friend who is really in need. Maybe a friend who is spending their first valentine’s day after a bad breakup or divorce. Maybe even after someone lost a spouse and they are alone for the first year. Take this time to send them a card telling them how much they mean to you. 

Number 7

This is a great time to celebrate being single so throw a party. A singles only party and celebrate not needing someone and your independence.

Number 8

Have a night in with yourself. Get a babysitter and veg out. Drink some wine and watch a movie.

Number 9

If you feel like you would like a date but don’t want to go to all the fuss of blind dates and everything else, then find a friend and have a platonic date. 

Number 10

Think about your parents on this day and think are they still married or are they now single. When is the last time they had a Valentine’s Day dinner? Take your parent out tonight and have a great time catching up. 

See you don’t have to be in a relationship just to have fun and enjoy this holiday. Hope you enjoyed this and as always remember that you are fabulous!!!!

Lots of love

Kaylee Shadows