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My child said what?

Hey everyone, I have been thinking a lot lately about parenting and the things our kids say and do. I think sometimes we get so busy trying to be the perfect parent and running our kids from one place to another that we forget to enjoy our children. I have seven sons all together ranging from ages 18-6. I have the 3 that I gave birth to and the 1 that God brought me as a miracle to my 3 stepsons so I have seen and heard a lot of stuff. Sometimes it’s cute and funny and other times a little disturbing. However as I sit back and watch my children grow up I realize how precious this time is. I am just as guilty as any parent and I get so busy with all the boys that I sometimes forget to sit back and take a breath and just enjoy their company.

At the beginning of this year I made myself a vision board which is something I do every year and one of the biggest things I added on there was… to spend more quality time with my children. I don’t want to look back once they are all grown up and realize the only memories I have is that I made a great cold lunch. I want to remember that we went to the beach and on hiking trips and sometimes spent last Saturday’s binge watching our favorite shows. I want to know that my children experienced life with me and didn’t just watch me live it.

This is me with one of my sons at a St Patrick’s Day show he played at it with his band Chaotic Shadows.

Being a parent isn’t easy and figuring out how to be a good parent as well sane is not an easy task. Now granted I may not be the kind of parent that you agree with or want to be anything like because I am not one of those moms that think everything has to be perfect. In fact I am far from perfect, I have made tons of mistakes as a mom and like everyone else I have had to pick myself up and keep going because being a parent is one of the best rewards in life.

Remember that parenting is hard and sometimes we don’t always have the best role models growing up. I love my parents to death but there are many things I have done differently as a parent then they did, and I am sure my kids will feel the same way about me. That’s is ok it just means that with each generation they are growing into better and stronger parents and I am ok with it. My focus now is just enjoying my silly kids and everything they have to offer. Which brings me to what happened this last weekend with one of my twins. This last Saturday was crazy as one of my stepsons was turning 8 years old and we were doing his birthday party down at the local park.

As you can imagine just like most birthday parties there is always things that go wrong or get mixed up. You know what I mean you forget to buy tape to wrap the presents and your scrounging around for any gift bag you can find all while asking yourself “why did I wait til the last minute to do this?” Maybe the person who told you over and over again that they couldn’t make the party showed up and brought 4 extra people with them that you start to worry there isn’t enough food left, and what the hell happened to rsvp people? Ahhhh… tI have done so many birthday parties that I feel like I am a pro by now, so why did I forget to bring a knife to cut the cake? I am wondering the same thing lol. Anyway before the party started I ran to the store and took one of my seven year old twins with me for a little mommy and me time. Now this child I have is hilarious and ask the funniest questions so I am never sure what is going to come out of his mouth. He is also a smaller version of my oldest son so I feel like I have a sequel going on in my house lol. My oldest son was also one of those kids who spouted off things you didn’t expect a young child to say.

Anyway we head to the store and grab a few things and on the way home my sons sees a yard sale sign. He gets super excited and is like “mommy is there a yard sale around?” I replied “yes honey there was one down town.” He gets even more excited and says “yay I want to go to it because I want to get a new pair of socks.” I couldn’t help but laugh out loud and ask him why he wanted to buy socks from a yard sale. He just looked at me like the answer was so obvious. It still cracks me up that the first thing he thought of was socks when he saw a yard sale sign and of course I will be telling this story for years.

A picture of us playing around. You can see the look on his face. I see this all the time lol.

He definitely made my spirits lift that day and I forgot about the stress from a birthday party and that the fact that it was trying to rain when we were having the party outside. I just laughed and went with the flow and it turned out to be one of the easiest parties I have ever thrown. Makes me wonder if stressing out before is what makes the parties stressful… haha… yep there it is lol.

Always remember to cherish your children while they are little because they don’t stay that way very long.

My twins when they were babies…

Lots of love

Kaylee

Be Supportive Damn It!

LOL ok so yes that got your attention… As funny as it sounds I actually mean that is a very positive way. Just picture my smiling face cursing at you lol

silly me better

We all need support in different areas of our lives from business to personal but it can be hard to ask for support from the people we love the most and sometimes we are the worst at giving support to the ones we love and the ones who need it the most.

we rise

 

Listen to my podcast here to learn all about being supportive and getting support when you need it the most.

Click Here for podcast on site

Click Here for podcast on iTunes

Lots of Love

Kaylee

 

 

Be Her Forever is available now

Hey guys are you looking for a way to save your relationship? Maybe you just need to spice things up a little, or you are curious of how to go back to being the man she fell in love with.

Well in my new book Be Her Forever you can find out all of that.

Get the digital copy today for only 99 cents of buy a print copy to keep coming back to.

Available now by Kaylee Shadows

Be Her Forever!

 

 

 

Lots of Love
Kaylee Shadows

How to be a wise step parent

I read this article and it was so good I had to share it with you…

The wise stepmom

“When I got married a year ago, I had the dream of being a terrific wife to my husband and a godly influence to his 6- and 8-year-old,” the young stepmom said.

“But I find myself struggling in this new role. My husband’s former wife says negative things about me to the kids,” she continued.

“And most of our free time is spent driving the children back and forth between homes or shuttling them to extracurricular activities. All of this is putting stress on our marriage, and I’m miserable. Resentment toward my husband and his kids is starting to build, and I don’t know what to do.”

This stepmom isn’t selfish, unloving or “wicked.” Her motives are pure; she merely needs insight into the dynamics of a step family and her unique role in it. If she wants to become a wise stepmom, she will need to recognize four unavoidable realities.

Reality No. 1

A wise stepmom understands that the former wife plays a significant role in the relationship the stepmom has with her stepchildren. If the mom is bitter, negative or controlling, the children will have a more difficult time accepting their stepmom.

By nature, kids are fiercely loyal to their mom, even when she acts poorly. So if children realize that showing kindness, appreciation or love to a stepmom causes their mom to feel ostracized or angry, they will likely shun the stepmom. Even when it’s tough, the stepmom’s response needs to be consistent—staying polite and considerate, she should do her best to understand that their behavior may not have anything to do with her.

Reality No. 2

A wise stepmom realizes that it takes several years for most stepfamilies to gel. Most kids don’t immediately view a stepmom as a parent figure or someone they desire to love. The relationship between them must build slowly if it’s going to survive. Any attempt by Dad or the stepmom to force the relationship usually results in resentment, fear or anger.

Reality No. 3

A wise stepmom gently reaches out to her stepkids in small ways that communicate, “I care about you, and I understand this isn’t easy.” A few suggestions: Make food or treats that they especially like; help them with homework; and attend special events, such as a dance recital or soccer game (if it doesn’t cause tension with the biological mom).

Reality No. 4

A wise stepmom allows Dad to have time alone with his children. She encourages them to participate in activities they enjoyed before she entered the picture. This conveys that she respects the needs of her stepchildren. When a father remarries, the kids often view it as another loss. When a stepmom encourages her husband and his children to spend time together, it helps to communicate that Dad hasn’t abandoned or stopped loving them because he decided to remarry.

I was 12 when my dad remarried a woman with two children. After his wedding, the only time I was able to have a private conversation with him was the 25-minute drive from my house to his. That was 40 years ago, and it’s still a painful memory. I “lost” my dad to his new wife and her kids. And it hurt.

When a stepmom offers her spouse the time he needs with his kids, it reveals her desire to support rather than compete with the children. This typically prompts the husband to be more receptive to the need for “alone time” with his wife, also. In other words, allowing him to love and care for his children will strengthen the marriage.

I’m not a perfect stepmom, but I have learned to ask God to give me the mind of Christ when confronted with complex stepfamily issues. It’s comforting to know that Jesus understands what it’s like to be rejected, and He is more than willing to teach me how to respond in a manner that honors Him.

Laura Petherbridge is the author of 101 Tips for the Smart Stepmom.

Lots of love

Kaylee

My first Podcasts is up

Hey everyone, I am super excited to have my first podcast up. I am lucky to have an amazing husband who pushes me when I need it but who is also great at music and recording. This made it easy for me because he already has all the tools for his upcoming recording business. This helps my business as well. YAY!!!!

 

Anyway I got the first one up yesterday and you can listen to it on ITunes at this link here….

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/shining-relationships-with-kaylee-shadows/id1358553604

You can also listen to it directly on the podcast site at this link here

www.podcasts.com/shining-relationships-with-kaylee-shadows-fe1871843/episode/Leaving-the-Darkness-Behind-with-Kaylee-Shadows-7bfb

As time goes on I will be focusing on more specific areas per podcasts as well as interviews with other people.

I am super excited for this new change in my business.

Lots of Love

Kaylee