How soon should you have sex in a relationship?

This is one question I get asked all the time. In fact, this question gets asked so much that I am directing it to my podcast in the next couple of weeks.

This is a really good question, but first, off I have to state this…if your new partner says they are going to leave you if you don’t have sex with them, then they suck and you should let them leave. Sex is a big deal and you should not feel pressured to have sex with someone.

I know today that people think sex is casual and not a big deal but these people are wrong. I know there are some people who can have casual sex, I am personally not one of them, but that does not mean it should be casual or that you should feel pressured.

Now to answer the question, “How soon should you have sex in a relationship?” I don’t believe there is a certain amount of time. There is no right answer, there is only what you think is best.

Now I’m not going to tell you what to do or what not to do. I will, however, give you some advice on this topic.

I am not an old fashioned girl and I don’t believe that you should wait to get married before you have sex. I know a lot of people still think that or even have religious views on this. I am not telling you what to do one way or another on this. My only opinion here is that you should wait until you are ready. Only you will know when you are ready.

Think of how many times you’ve heard someone in a relationship says, “UHHH” I should have never slept with that jerk or I should’ve waited till I knew him better. You don’t want this to be another one of those stories. Wait until you know them better.

However, this does not mean you are doomed if you do have sex early. Every relationship is different and a lot of times age and experience come into play here. I know for me when I met my first husband at 18 I was not ready to jump into bed with him right away. Now when I was in my 30’s I met my hunky second husband and couldn’t wait to get him alone. He is super sexy.


Sex is something that is supposed to be fun and enjoyable. You should never feel pressured to do something you don’t want, and you should never feel like sex is an obligation. Just have fun and enjoy your new relationship and take as much time is you need.

Lots of Love


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